FLOWERS IN HER HAIR

I just found a long lost folder full of hair/flower scanning photos, (this being a result of me and my friend experimenting with the scanner in photography.) 

How pretty are they!?

CORALINE

'The world will be built new for you every morning. If you stay here, you can have whatever you want.'  ~   Coraline sighed. 'You really don't understand, do you?' she said. 'I don't want whatever I want. Nobody does. Not really. What kind of fun would it be if I just got everything I ever wanted? Just like that, and it didn't mean anything. What then?'

I first read Coraline simply because its my best friends favourite - I never thought I would enjoy it as much as I am. The great thing about children's books is that they purposefully entail morals and life lessons to teach the young audience. This quote simply brings around the often argued statement that, 'You need bad in your life to appreciate the good.'

WILLIAM FAULKNER

“I give you the mausoleum of all hope and desire - I give it to you not that you may remember time, but that you might forget it now and then for a moment and not spend all of your breath trying to conquer it. Because no battle is ever won he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools.”

WHERE AM I/HOW CAN I LEAVE.

My feelings currently in daily life (aka school.)
Now don't get me wrong I so genuinely love school. I'm at A-level age which means I now do three subjects I love (English Lit/ English Lang / Photography) and I get to spend the day with my friends who (as most teenagers would say) are the main reason for my existence.
So why is it at the moment I always have this want in the back of my mind telling me to leave any form of society and seek a secluded place somewhere warm, cosy, preferably with a kettle - where I can read, or write, or draw, or probably just daydream.

Is it mental exhaustion from the amount of fictional worlds my brain travels through a day. -
 Or the fact I've got way too into drinking strong coffee on a constant basis (maybe its making me irrational and odd). Or maybe its the lack of sleep I get from the time magically disappearing between 8 -12 ish every evening. (Although at the moment we might be able to blame my latest TV series obsession True Blood.) Or it could be the normal teenage *I have so much coursework/school work it could bury me alive*.

To be honest this post is more a complaint about me as a being. I swear teenagers are supposed to be all crazy parties but I think I've spent most of my teenage years so far sleeping and I only have two teen years left.

I do however have a Harry Potter themed party this weekend which is going to be completely radical> combining my closest friend and possibly the best franchise in existence. I feel like the header should be a Harry Potter quote but Twin Peaks fits so much more with my feelings.

NIHILISTIC CRISIS / EXISTENTIAL CRISIS

'You're actually having a nihilistic crisis more than an existential one.'

These were the words my friend helpfully (so much sarcasm) replied to me last night when I told him -
'Help. I'm spiralling into a bottomless pit of my reoccurring existential crisis.' 
(both the literal quotes.)
Now lets take in that it was about 2 AM and instead of sleeping I was lying awake, listening to the Submarine soundtrack (amazing movie / unbeatable soundtrack by Alex Turner) and pondering the normal philosophical questions - What is the meaning of life? What is our purpose on the earth? 

Nihilism is a firm belief system that the world, life itself, has no real meaning or purpose. So although similar to an existential crisis, a nihilistic one would be the definite belief or realisation that life has no meaning. An existential crisis is you beginning to question the point behind existence and its more the general pondering (that I seem to constantly do about everything) than solid beliefs.

At the moment we've come to the agreement that it was a misunderstanding and neither of us were wrong. (I know the truth.)

CITY OF LOST SOULS

'I was in the dark, he had said. There was nothing there but shadows, and I was a shadow. And then I heard your voice.'

This is one of those exquisite quotes that has as much beauty as a Smiths track. You read it and re-read it, and then you want to engrave it into your mind so that you are incapable of forgetting it.

When the series protagonist Clary says this, she is remembering the words that Jace (her boyfriend) said to her- before he lost his soul due to being linked to a demon's child.   (It's a long and absolutely brilliant story.) 

She is looking up at this 'not Jace' and recalling her memories of him, of the 'beautiful boy she'd met first, reckless with himself and others, learning to care and be careful.'
Jace is an enthralling character when it comes to understanding love. His father taught him, when he was a child, that
 'to love is to destroy, and that to be loved is to be the one destroyed.'
Another stunningly beautiful quote (Cassandra Clare can wield these like weapons) - and it is the basis to their endearing story as, through Clary, he learns the way to love.

To spoil the book for you - but to save your curiosity. Clary manages to save Jace - *oh how romantic* - with a sword containing heavenly fire that they are given (albeit unhappily) by an angel.

City Of Lost Souls, alike the rest in the The Mortal Instrument series, is rather wonderful - I avidly advise you read them.
 

This is a still of Clary and Jace (played by Lily Collins and Jamie Campbell Bower) from the movie adaptation of City of Bones.